i ate cat food...

so kate is an organizer, she loves to move things around and she loves, loves, loves to take things out of something and put it into something else...
pour out cereal this morning and as i'm eating it, i came across something crunchy-er than the rest...what the...noooo, no, no, no, OH MY YES, I ATE CAT FOOD, i guess she got a hold of the cat food and put some in our chocolate matys...um they say that it really tastes like chicken, total liars they are, and i see that it's jam packed with nutrients, well i guess i don't need my vitamins today

had to take a pic of the most adorable baby blanket that i'm making. while in slc i went to some quilt stores and i saw something that looked like this quilt. my memory fails me entirely but i just remember seeing the quilt and instantly NEEDING one, or two, or three...

best years of my life...

december of 1992 me and my mom taking pictures before winter formal

in my church i am in the "young women" s program as a leader, secretary to be exact, for those of you who aren't lds let me explain a little: the young women's program is for the girls in church of the ages 12 thru 18, and we get together once a week on tuesdays to do activities and on sundays we do our lessons together, sunday school if you will. well one sunday i was put in charge of teaching the 16-17 year olds, and as most girls that age it was all talk about boys, clothes and popularity...as i taught my lesson (something to do with involvement in school, i can't really remember, wow what a great leader i am.) these topics seemed to keep coming up. i kept veering the conversation to a.s.b. involvement and sports, and at one point in the lesson one of the girls raises her hand and asks "i wonder how were you in high school, were you really popular?" uh...hmmm...duh...i, i, i, hmmm...

so i had to think about it for a second, high school was sooooo...geesh, a faint dream ago? do i save face and say "yeah i was super cool, probably one of the coolest ever alive, best times of my life, and wish i could be 17 again"? A TOTAL LIE... so i panic and then i pay attention to the girl asking the question: cute, not super popular, does things to shock those around her sometimes, and i think she'll probably make a really great mom someday, and a spunky wife. but pretty sure she's struggleling with the whole high school thing so i answered honestly: "no, i wouldn't say i was popular, they knew my name, i knew theirs, i dated a few of the boys in the "popular" gene pool, at least i think they were, a couple of popular girls really liked them so i guess that made them popular, but i worried entirely too much about that, i WANTED popularity so badly, that it made me shy, unsure, and looking back at it now, really stupid" i went on to explain that you always hear that the high school years are the best years of your life, and that was total b.s. (don't worry i didn't say that in church i said "crap" ;) )i also said: to try to achieve happiness i would obsess over my weight and hair, i always needed a boyfriend to reassure myself, i was never happy, pretty sure i was depressed, and also i had an eating disorder. it wasn't till college that i found out i was pretty sarcastic and i loved to make people laugh, i love to be around other girls that do the same for me, as time went on i evolved, i found out what i liked, what i didn't like, and so forth, during these times of growth i found out that spirituality was huge to me, and when the time was right i found the perfect guy for me. as newlyweds i was still figuring myself out, as a young mother, still figuring myself out, as a little bit of a seasoned mother of 4, still figuring myself out, but one thing is for sure, i keep thinking "okay now THESE are the best years of my life... and i wouldn't go back to being 17 or 21 or 28 or so forth" but i keep surprising myself, cause the next year and the next year to come (if the trend keeps going the way that it is) will be the best years of my life, where i've learned so much more than before, and i come to figure myself out just a little bit more.ever evolveing i guess. so yeah high school was defitnitly NOT the best years of my life, i don't know why they mattered so much when i was in them cause now is what i would call the best years of my life, cause i'm happy.

katie's dresser

katie's dresser is a hand me down from her great grandma...i love furniture with a story. but the brown was outdated and i wanted it more shabby chic like her room will be...

i decided that the day was today to do it! and as i was getting ready to stain it i saw that i bought wrong stain, and it was SUPER dark...but because i live in the middle of nowhere and most likely the hardware store here in town would not have the right one i was looking for anyways, and i would of had to wait till the next time i was willing to drive out to walmart only to find that it wasn't there either...i decided to take my mistake and go with it, so the stain is a little darker than what i usually use...but i think it turned out okay? now i need to find handles for it...cause the ones that i found are not the right size! any ideas? i'm going to knobhill's online store to see what i can do, but all in all i think it will turn out super cute as it gets closer to being finished...and now of course it makes her walls need paint even more...

purging and projects...

well, with my mom gone back to san diego, and me being back home from my time with jake, and my boys trying to pull fast ones on my mom all week long while i was gone, looking at the damage on the house (cleanliness) i have my hands full for a while, buuuuut, i'm starting with purging my house again. spring has FINALLY decided to show up in our altitude and has inspired me to chuck the old broken and not used, make room for, well nothing really, i just like to get rid of things it makes me feel good. and with feeling good of getting rid of stuff, i feel great enough to finally get my act together and start painting some of the things that i've been procrastinating on! so big plans! i'll keep you posted!

practice does not make perfect

...or make it easier to saying goodbye *sigh* we're gonna miss you. take care and know that we are constantly thinking and praying for you. and we are literally counting the days till you are with us once again. but until then, life must go on and we will do it to the best of our ability.

competition...

it took her 6 months to finally warm up to jake when he came back from his 5 months of training, and we anticipated the same thing this time around.... bu the minute she saw him, no rather heard his voice, she dropped everything, and ran towards him...
and hasn't let him put her down for a minute...
all the kids are following him all over the house, like he's the momma duck and they are his ducklings... ahahaha! i think i could go in the other room and close the door and take a nap while they are all enthralled with their dad being home! i guess i can't complain though, i did have him all to myself for 2 whole days, so i'm not at all that sad that they are taking all his time today! :)

was it a dream?

ugh tomorrow's the last day he's here, it went too fast. bleh. but it was great. like a great dream.

smarter than the average goat, and confessions...

so i outsmarted the goats, they keep getting out and i would of taken a picture of my labors but until it holds up for a few days i'm not going to brag, but i think i'm getting smarter than them! me and my momma, i wish i had her green eyes!

and i confessed about the habit i felt totally guilty that i was sneaking around with it that i came out and told her...she was a little disappointed ( i hate to do that!) but then as you can tell she couldn't stay mad for too long...and then i got the lecture. *sigh* i know mom...i'll try.

here's a picture of the product of the boxes i posted yesterday, they are these wonderfully delicious, tasty, happy makers that are called pan de vonos...they are bread made with cheese(correction:AND eggs i was told), and are to die for!!! especially with some hot chocolate! the kids and i enjoyed ever single one of them and we can't wait for the next batch to come out of the oven!!! thank heavens for my hispanic full of spunk mommy! i'm a total product of her and that makes me proud!

sneaky...

i sneaked some "friend" time at felicia's, i feel a little less tired and "peppier" if you know what i mean...will update later today...shhhhh.... ;)
(this is hitting all new lows, i think i have a problem.)

all the signs that she's here...

she's taken over my kitchen, but i welcome it, she's already tried to have the kids eat candy made out of figs, and she's soaking the beans. just like my childhood all over again!

you may call me "boy who rides goats"

seriously. i need to invest in a horse.

clean house, fake tan, and the temple...

the house is clean, something about the smell of pine sol that is such a happy maker for me, weird, must be from my childhood. the kids are ready to go to a friends house. tried my "fake" tan on last night, not a huge difference but at least i wont be blinding anyone, and off to the temple i go with some great friends. hope you have an awesome day. i think i might too!

very productive and destructive week...

so i lied, it wasn't ALL productive, i did take a couple of "emotional sick days" where i did nothing but eat my weight in ice cream while i read and ignored the house and the world around me, including the very angry 8 year old who got moved from one class to another "just to try it out" and see if he would do better in another class. after a couple of VERY trying days (hence the eating of a TON of ice cream and reading 2 books) of nate doing furious in a very awful way, things are actually going really well again at home and big *sigh* of relief, school. for the fist time in a looooong time nate came home smiling and talking in a happy tone after school. i should of gone with my gut a loooong time ago but i was scared to hurt people's feelings, but after our last "parent, teacher, principle" conference, i decided to listen to my prayers and i said "he needs to move out of his class to the other" so felicia thanks for the prayer that i would start getting MY tokens, it actually worked and now we have a little hint of our old nate back! so my house looks a little like a tornado hit it, i just have to put everything back where it belongs, that's what i'm doing tonight after the kids go to bed with the help of some newly bought itunes

but i did get my act together more toward the end of the week and started some more runners (they went pretty fast!) , i made these hangers and you can check them out here! got my new patterns up to pineneedles in west jordan, i went to walmart bought a ton of fruit and NO ice cream, the kids got to cash in their tokens at kmart, and i shipped out i don't know how many orders! THANK YOU!!! and now i go to start to devise a plan on how to tackle the house tonight

my mother is coming...

so i have to say goodbye to my little friend in a can till she's gone!

a few fun facts about my mom:

1. she's super healthy, walks to the beach and back every morning (around 6 miles round trip)

2. she's super healthy, eats only organic foods

3. she's super healthy, and thinks everyone should eat brown rice, home cooked meals (every single meal laced with love and time), should have their dietary fiber and vitamins all in healthy food not in pills, and everyone should buy hormone free meat from organic fed cows and chickens.

4. she's a little hispanic lady with a whole hell of a lot of spunk.

5. she comes from a house full of neurotically clean women.

6. she's constantly calling me everyday to tell me of the "dangers" of the world

7. she's a hard core roman catholic who prays the rosary (in spanish) constantly and daily, doesn't miss a day of church, and is planning on getting here on a monday and leaving on a saturday. to make it just in time.

8. she makes me crazy, but i absolutely need and look for her approval, and i think she knows a lot of what she's talking about.

*************************************************************************************

and so the diet soda has been hidden, the house is getting a once over with Clorox, the kids have been prepped of foods we cannot let her know we eat, and i'm a nervous wreck! the big day is monday, she's here for a week, for three of those days i'll be picking up jake and spending some time with him, and then we will come back here and see the kids, and the little hispanic spitfire i call my mother!

my 100th post and nothing to say...I KNOW SHOCKER!!

well it's not that i was trying to build suspense or anything really i wasn't. but i kept trying to think of something witty or funny or BIG and...nothing. so yeah the winners are draperm you lucky girl got my runner, felicia won a charm pack of prarie paisley by moda fabrics (my favorite!!!) and girlsmama got a felt pin and needle case. (i'll make the cover with your chosen letter on it!) i really wanted to give EVERYONE something to walk away with, but seeing that i'm not made of money, i can't sorry! okay so if you guys would just email me your address i will mail out your prizes asap! and really thanks for checking out my blog, liking my creations, and listening to my craziness...this was fun and i want to do it again...i'll have to think of something fun!

oh i just thought of a funny thing that happened the other day: the oldest one (the one that is giving me grey hairs) was doing his regular "you can't tell me do my homework" bit, and he had been kind of a pill all day (bad day with the bullies, whole other story) so i was doing my breathing exercises, and had my eyes closed, and as i'm messaging my temples i hear him say "hey mom. did you know you have little lines on your eyelids that look lightning bolts?" huh? "yeah they get darker and bigger when you are mad at me!" oh help me...had to laugh at that one. well at least i can laugh at it now. well happy hundredth post to me with not anything important to say, but thanks for listening anyways! loves, V

oh yeah and my email address is vanessa_christenson@yahoo.com

oh yeah and another thing: secret checkers, lurkers, or comming out of the woodworkers, whatever you want to call it, thanks for comming out and commenting, comments are good i like comments so if you ever feel inclined to "come out" again welcome! and please leave a comment!

um i guess i did have something to say...I KNOW SHOCKER!!

make yourself known and win

so here i go again with the table runners. i'm thinking of putting some of these in the etsy shop aaaand...i'm one post away from being my 100th post...i'm smelling a give away. what do you think? i'll pick a random comment and for my 100th post i'll post up the lucky winner and the special prize!!! so come out of the woodworks make yourself known and you might just win something!

poll: which necklace?

this should be fun. the sun is out and i'm feeling great, so out come my arms and some necklaces...which one should i wear with this shirt? (now keep in mind that i have just started to collect necklaces so where there are probably better options out there, this is what i have in my collection to work with)

i bet you a million dollars you have never....

had your goat stare at you from your trampoline with a look of "what? havn't you ever seen a goat on a trampoline before?"
or had a knocking sound at around 10:30 at night that freaks you out cause out here in the country you don't hear much of anything once the sun goes down unless it's a deliberate sound for you to hear, and when you look out your front door and see a shadow, and you look just a little bit closer, you are relieved yet shocked to see two goats staring at you on your front porch like "what? haven't you ever seen a goat on your front porch before?" this picture is actually taken from inside my house looking out to the goats through my glass storm door. when i opened my front door i was laughing so hard and the first thought was "no one's going to believe me" so i went to get my camera. so if there's any advise that i can give to ANYONE out there is DON'T GET A GOAT, and please if you do end up getting a goat (cause you are stupid) don't be dumber and get yourself a second goat.
i think i'm going to get rid of the goats and tell the kids they ran away. i hate goats.

i want these...

it must be that i've been watching jane austen movies, and "becoming jane", read "austenland" by shannon hale, and now am reading "mansfield park" by jane austen, that i am finding myself totally in loooooove with dresses, i mean i've always have loved them but now i picture myself wearing them everyday all day, which is totally ridiculous seeing that i live in a farming community, and i already stick out like a sore thumb cause i wear "city" pants instead of wranglers, but wouldn't it be so grand to wear cute dresses everyday and just have it be totally normal? i really need to back off on jane austen it's getting kind of ridiculous!

i want to make this...

for my room. i love it so.

i was stupid last night

i stayed up till around 2 in the morning sobbing over not just one but 2 movies. the notebook and pride and predjudice. good news is that i finished the binding on the doll quilts and some table runners! go check it out http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5653742

my eyes are still puffy, i'm totally tired, and i have the urge to wear an empire waisted dress, but at least now i can cross off some things as "done" on my list! woohoo!

great second hand finds...

so i was looking around my house, and i thought i would share with you some of my AWESOME second hand finds (some of them were free cause ahem they were found next to the dumpsters) this is my coffee table (one of my favorite pieces of furniture) it's been with us the whole 10 years of our marriage i found it by the dumpster while we were apartment managers in cali. slapped some paint on it and distressed it and well i've had a few women offer as much as $200 for it, but sorry it's mine forever.
this one my husband found by the dumpster (same place in cali) slapped some paint on it and it's been pretty worn, i might need to repaint it one of these days. (robin's egg blue? or puke green tend to be the fav's these days)
this one actually cost me a bit $30 at a garage sale but i love it cause it holds my computer and hides it! (slapped black paint and distressed)

this picture cost me $3 at a garage sale ( i painted the frame and matte and... tada!)
these plates cost me a total of $1.50
the wooden box that the candle is in cost me a whopping $1

so you can be frugal and a tightwad and still have things look kind of nice. i have a few more in the works (still need to slap some paint on them) but i will show them off when i get to doing it! i have a ton more stuff but i'll wait for another day!

once upon a time...

i used to really like to do laundry. the smell and warmth alone was a happy maker. somewhere around child three i think that was no longer true. and i've been so good with doing what fly lady suggests and doing a load a day(no matter what!!). seemed to of gotten things under control at our house, but add a trip to slc, and a sick little girl who throws up at the sight of milk (what's that all about?! we are now on soy milk for at least a week) and this is what happens when you've already folded, put away the load that is for the day, and you walk away for the afternoon (thinking you are done cause you followed the rule!) i can't imagine what it is for more than 4 kids and a husband put into the mix! i stayed up last night watching my smut tv (daily 10, and the hills) and folding laundry, thank heavens for smut tv!

back to basics...

i think my husband is tired of hearing me complain about my funks and of how i don't have the energy to do things these past weeks. his words were strong but true..."what are you doing to take care of YOU?" i listed taking showers, eating, and sleeping. doing some reading and creating here and there. "those are still not taking care of yourself. go exercise." WHAT?! how did this happen? i have ALWAYS exercised...no matter what, i would make time, running would clear my head, and now i find it clearing my bladder too, sooo i had to stop that...saddness...but i ALWAYS have had a membership to a gym AND WENT. so what's different now? well lots of things but i think living in california spoiled me to not need the gym and just go out and enjoy the outdoors everyday and go walking, not strolling mind you, WALKING, hard core. those women i went with were monsters! and i loved it, it sufficed not being able to run. and here i find myself complaining its too cold to go walking, and the gym doesn't have day care, and it's not open when i want to go (7 or 8 pm). so i decided to listen to my husband and i did it, i exercised, and it felt great. so much that i really want to have it be a passion need to do it every day thing (again). things are already starting to look better!

today i would...

totally get under my covers and sleep all day long, wake up go get some yummy food, and my fav diet drink, then come home get under my covers again and sleep some more or read till i fell asleep again...but who am i kidding.
seriously enough with the cold weather, enough with the snow, enough with the gloom. i'm protesting the weather and i'm wearing my flip flops. i need sun real bad

i love my kids

there isn't anything i wouldn't do for them, i am so blessed, i am a better person because of them and i am lucky to be their mother, as tiring as it may be sometimes! (and if you thought my shoes were cute...katies are even cuter!)

sweet escapes

do you ever feel like a failure as a parent?
*sigh* sometimes the best remedy for EVERYTHING is a great book. just finished yet another hale book, goose girl, this one won my heart. loved it. and when i got home from yet another emotionally draining day of being the mother bear and trying to explain to the principle and teachers that my son is not acting out, out of defiance, but rather that negative attention is better than no attention and we need to do constant fine tuning of trying to find how to help my oldest cope with school life and those around him, (he's just barely making a friend, those other boys are still there looming and taunting, and i have to remind them that he's doing all his work at home and at school) but that his only way to try to get attention is to be a class clown. i've tried to explain to them that he's been doing so well at home with the token system, and that i NEED for them to do something like this in the classroom if not for the whole class then for just my kid to help with the behaviors. i think i may be getting through to them. i find myself too tired, no too exhausted to create, sew, or think. tired of worrying, tired of crying, tired of the headaches that go with the two mentioned before. so what have i been doing, i've been escaping to different worlds that books bring to me, love and deceit, sword fights, and smart young maidens with quick tongues. i always have mixed emotions when i finish a book that is not in a series, on one hand i love that i got to finish the story and i get to "pick" my next travel, but on the other hand, it's over, our friendship is cut short. so yeah, i've been needing A LOT of escaping these days, but that just means i get to live their lives for a few days and get to escape my sometimes draining life.

different walks of life...

i should want this right? i find so many friends walking different parts of life, some are done done with kids like 8 years ago, they have highscoolers and some that are even going off to first years of college. then i have others who are still in the process of planning when the next pregnancy will be "planned" some of those plans don't work as well and hence the other set of friends going through the process of "well what are our options to help us get pregnant" then there's the group that i fall into, "am i done? i think i am..." but it feels so final to say those words, sad really. i should be rejoicing shouldn't i? i get to work on my tired body, i get to say how much caffeine is enough, i get to say that in a couple more years i'll be able to volunteer in the kids classes without a kid on my back (literally, the backpack is a lifesaver these days!) i will be able to say if i want a day of just reading for an hour say at like 10 am, i can! so why am i so sad, blue, down, to say that i am now to walk this part of my life? it might not help that 3 out of 5 neighbors are pregnant, oops sorry 2 one just had her baby, and she smelled, looked, felt, and sounded wonderful! but do i really think another baby is in our future? i don't think so. so i should be okay, i can hold other people's babies (which up until now was not a huge happy maker for me, because i had one of my own) i just have to keep reminding myself, this is a good thing, this is a good thing...so off i go to get that stinking IUD, i know too much info i'm sorry, feel like this is where i can vent, feel down, share my newest goals, and share my accomplishments, ask for help and what not. wish me luck i'm not quite sure where an IUD falls in any of those categories, hmmmmm.

agitation for most kids, means anger for katie

they told me that she would wake up from the operation disoriented and agitated....

oh crap, so of course when i went in to see my adorable little girl asleep after the tubes were inserted, i was relieved and i smiled, the doctor and nurse smiled back and said everything went great, and she should be waking up in a couple of"...SCREAM!!!! flailing of the arms and anger comes too soon for the doctor to finish, "uh...yeah some kids come out a little more angry than others" dont patronize me i know the girl came with attitude, i try to do all the things they told me to do that would calm her down, the bottle, she grabs it and chucks it, starts grabbing at her clothes and arching her back..."wow she's mad." yeah you think?! i ask if i can hold her, they say sure, take her vitals as well as they can. the nurses look at me, smiling kind of nervously, i say stupidly "that's my girl" and when we can't console her the nurse asks me if i want to change her back into her jammies to see if that helps. "sure lets try that." it takes all my power and the nurse to keep her on the bed as i tackle putting on her pj's all the while katie arches her back and throws a fit. "really hates the get her diaper changed, and clothes changed..." i say in between breaths...the nurses finally stop trying to help after 15 minutes and katie is still pretty mad at everyone, but not screaming like before, just swearing at everyone in her katie cries, so i take my adorably cute screaming in baby language "you fools, imbeciles, idiots, what have you done to me!" daughter, and with the help of the cowarding nurse that got the short straw out of the bunch to help me out of the hospital, we make it to my car only for me to stress out that i'm going to look like a horrible mother trying to "push" my daughter who has become a stiff board out of stubbornness because she sees the car seat. i start to try to "fold" her into her chair, and i tell the nurse thank you, and she starts to walk away backwards with big eyes, yeah i know...

finally get her in the car, and start the car, katie makes a final protest and then "ah ah" for her bottle, i give it to her she drinks it and within minutes of driving she's smiling and then conks out. "for the love of...YOU HAVE GOT TO BE JOKING ME" drive the rest of the way home, she's sleeping profoundly. get home, turn off the car, and she wakes up a little and whimpers, and then i try to put her down she does not want to sleep, instead she wants to play. "you know i've been up since 4:45 this morning right?" i ask her, she just smiles, and starts playing with her doll house (given to us by our neighbor) oh well, i don't know if this will help with the general crankiness, but here's to hoping!