Feeling Cheery

enter LUCKY50B for 50% off this pattern only

 Well, Hello December! I can't even believe you're already here.

 This last weekend, after our Thanksgiving coma, we brought out our stockings and christmas decor.

 I also got out my Into the Woods quilt found in my Simply Color: Green book. (and I looked festive with my hot pink and red socks as well!)

We also turned on Christmas music on, got out and assembled our fake tree, turned on the "Christmas spruce" scented wax and watched as my children continued the tradition of clumping up ornaments on 6 branches instead of evenly spacing them out…and bringing out the school ornaments as well.

As I sat and controlled my need to control the Christmas tree decorating yet again…I got all sentimental and crap…and thought…one day my tree will look just like I want it to, and that will mean that our dinner table will be empty from our children most of the year, and my house will be quiet and lonely from all of them not living under the same roof. Yes, people, I have in fact now arrived at that time in my life where my children are no longer attached at the hip, and I actually have the opportunity to miss them. And you know what? I've now become one of those annoying middle aged women who look at the young mothers and smile and say "I know it's hard now, but at some point in your life you'll look back and miss it…momentarily…and then you'll be so happy that you do in fact get a solid night's rest…but…you'll also be feeling like you are running out of time with your kids being in your home all together at once."
I'm living happy in the right nows. My kids and husband are the most important things and I am so lucky.
I did have to remind myself how sentimental and lucky I was feeling just minutes before as I watched from the sidelines the process of the tree "decorating" that was happening. We had the13 almost 14 year old standing on a chair getting the top half of the tree only to become sidetracked and egged on by two children under the tree coaxing him and then cheering as the ornaments ping pongee down the center of the tree... and then the fourth child needing reminding that chucking ornaments at the tree so they get stuck in the tree is not called decorating in this house.... I only yelled twice (and had to walk away while grumbling under my breath) so I'm gonna call that a success.
remember my grumbling Christmas pasts?
Our not so Pretty Christmas
Oh (ginormous) Christmas Tree 
man we have some great stories…and how does my husband still have patience with me? :)

ANYWHO…In my feeling cheery that I'm getting solid sleep these days and that I still get to enjoy my children messing with my tree decorating ideas…I wanted to offer a 50% off of my Lucky Stars pattern so you can control at least one thing if you aren't controlling your tree decorating like me…and you can make this adorable pillow, ahem and quilt if you have the time.

Just enter: LUCKY50B at check out and the pattern is yours for $5 :) this offer will end on DECEMBER 16, 2015 

this kid is 14

As I look back on life with this kid, I get emotional. Where we are today, is a dream come true. But without our past years of heartache and stress, and emotional roller coaster of a ride with this kid, I don't think I would have the kid I have today.
This truly is a success story of a kid that went to hell and back and lives today a better person because of it.
At the age of 14.

 If you are a long time reader you know what I'm talking about. For those that haven't been around for the long haul, it's okay. We don't need to link back to past posts where I cried my eyes out as I watched and HURT so much for this child as he suffered with debilitating anxiety, social awkwardness, and being bullied. The physical parts alone, like not being able to stop the involuntary body movements long enough (aka ticks) that made everyday normal, take for granted actions, like getting a glass of milk from the table to his mouth... one of the hardest things to accomplish, or watching my once happy child go "blank" from emotions and become a nothing but a shell of who he used to be to cope with his dad's deployment and being made fun of and bullied for his physical ticks. To know, that everything I felt I tried to do, would be met with anger/sadness, not being able to fix it, and feeling like I was being blamed for most of what was going on...was just downright miserable. For him and I. Well, for a lot of people especially our family.
See, we talk now. And laugh off how insanely hard those couple of years were.

His laughter...I actually can remember VIVIDLY the first time I actually heard him laugh again after such a loooong time. It was in Fifth grade, his dad was home about a year and half from the deployment, and we had decided we were going to stay for the long haul in the middle of nowhere. Life became safe again to him, and I heard him laugh from the other room.
I stopped dead in my tracks, got thoroughly confused as to who's laughter I was hearing. Then I smiled and cried...but for completely different reasons than the ones I had cried for the last few years.

And well now? As an 8th Grader. And after moving across the country to the midwest...It's insane that we ever went through that. Who he is now, is who I remember before all of that. That silly happy little kid, that...well...the kid I felt I lost for a few years.

So with that long introduction (and with tears and snot dripping down my face)...here's my right now for you:

RIGHT NOW:

*You are doing great in school. This is the year I got the call from a teacher saying "Your kid just came up to me and said 'I think I got it.'" Yeah, kid I think you do. You've got all A's and B's 

*You are in band and play the trumpet.

*You LOVE playing the trumpet... you just taught yourself how to play Greenday's "Boulevard of Broken Dreams"

*Have I mentioned you love playing the trumpet? You play "Taps" for us every night around 9 pm. (your siblings think it's kind of annoying...secretly your dad and I think its hilarious)

*You have a few really GREAT friends. THIS alone makes me cry. To watch you with friends, is wonderful.

*You really love to do art as well, you draw really well.

*You love little kids (this is something I've known since you were a little kid) Now it's very apparent that you have an extra sense of patience with little toddlers. You are great with little kids.

*You are very aware of when others are being left out or bullied, you go out of your way to make sure they feel included. 

*There have been instances where I'm just floored with your maturity of a matter at hand. Perfect example would be when someone accused you of making fun of them, we talked about it, figured out the individual just didn't want to be there so he picked you as the scapegoat so he could leave. We decided together as a family that you would go to this person's home and apologize for any misunderstanding or any impression that you might have given off that would have come across as making fun. This individual said you hadn't, (much to the caretakers amazement that he lied), and you then invited him again to come back if he wanted to because it was great to see him there. I don't know too many adults that can or would do that.

*You don't care for chocolate. This I don't understand but tolerate.

*You love music. Anything from instrumental, to modern day you appreciate it and like to pick out the parts of each musical instrument. Imagine Dragons are one of your fav bands.

*You are a great baby sitter. 

*You are finding Spirituality all on your own. You ponder and study scriptures, say prayers, and help out with family home evening. You have just been released from being Deacon's Quorum President.  (a responsibility in our church held by a boy of the age 12-13) You have grown much in the last two years.

*You stand up for yourself now. Last year a kid started picking on you, I got the phone call saying you had fought back. I told them I was proud that you had stood up for yourself, then we figured out how to make it so this individual wouldn't bother you anymore...we have a wonderful school system here...oh and btw you told me you are kind to that kid now when you see him in the halls.

*You tell me often you love me. As a matter of fact you tell all of us you love us often. It's always heartwarming when you tell me and your dad...but when I hear you from another room tell your siblings randomly it makes me feel like I haven't failed as a mother.

*You have a great sense of humor.

*You laugh ALL.THE.TIME now. 

*Your teachers and counselor at school have also seen a ton of personal growth in the last two and half years. (so it's not just me being your mom saying all this crap) 

*I couldn't be prouder to be your mom.

Don't get me wrong you're still a snot nosed teenager at times with normal teen mood swings and short fuses...but we don't care, we Love you and are so lucky to know you and know where you came back from. 

Happy Birthday kiddo. 

ps: I know there's a lot of people who have rooted for you in the past that are very happy to see how well you've adjusted to life and who you have shaped out to be. 

that time when my kid made me look like a word that rhymes with four

This quilt has nothing to do with the blog post...I just needed a pretty first picture.

Please excuse me as this is the SECOND TIME I am writing this. I finished my first blog post and then tried to insert a picture and that's when blogger decided to brain fart and it froze. I couldn't even get a screen shot because the "insert picture" window was covering about 7/8 of my writing...and for some reason (because it's me and everything hates me right now) NOTHING SAVED. You know how every so often it automatically saves? Not this time. I feel so defeated right now it's not even funny. Well it's kind of funny. No it's not. This is right up there with getting hemorrhoids after having a baby. It's that serious people. (not that I know anything about that I've just heard from friends)
UGH.
I was supposed to have this all done and written up a few days ago so I could just wrap up and hit "publish" the minute I did a once over after the kids headed back to school. But that's not happening. This never ending winter vacation made even longer because of "snow days" has obviously taken it's toll on me and I'm extra saucy. Add a blog post kerfluffle and well now you have this. It aint pretty.
We are on day 19 of kids being home....in a freaking row. This once spacious enough for us home feels like a small cave enslaving us...This morning promised to be the same thing of "Mom, who can I play with." "Mom, I'm bored of coloring, crafting holiday crafts, helping you in the kitchen, cleaning my room, reading my books, watching you go crazy...can I play video games?"
And then always my favorite "MOM! He's breathing annoyingly!"  MOM! She's looking at me weird!"  "MOM! JUST GET US ALL WHAT WE WANT AT THE SAME TIME SO WE ARE ALL HAPPY AND WHILE YOU ARE AT IT GIVE US ALL AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR SOMETHING AND WE WILL ALL LEAVE YOU ALONE!"

As tempting as that sounds. I'm gonna have to go with "UH, no."
And I'd like for it to be known that it was around day 19 when I lost my mind, but that I gave it my all till the end. (kidding, I have a few more days in me and yes, YES, I know one day I too will miss these days. I just wish it was today that I missed it... again, again I kid) .saucy.

Anyways, I did get friends for my kids to play with so I had a little bit of time while my house got trashed, that I was able to write my hilarious (to me now) encounter...but as I already whined in the beginning of this blog post. It went POOF...and I went "swear word" and now here we are again.

I'll get on with it and hopefully I can write it like I did the first time if not better because people it was freaking hilarious.

So this is a story about the time I took my third noisemaker with me somewhere only to have it be the last time I promised to take him anywhere ever again....

This is my third noisemaker.

So I sell patterns. Yeah yeah, I know you know.
I am grateful for the sales of my patterns, it helps me to buy fabric which then helps me to create things again to create new patterns to sell, which helps me to buy more fabric. And hence helps with the ongoing vicious cycle. YAY! Anyways, with said sales I often times have to make trips to shipping stores. They know me there.
My UPS store I frequent knows me pretty well. Well sort of well. Okay so they see me drop off packages and we joke about the crazy weather or what not...and I come off as a mom who works from home. Pretty good on the surface acquaintances. Nothing too scary...till I had one of my kids with me and he made me look like I was a professional you know what. Or in other words:
"That one time when my kid made me look like a word that rhymes with four." other names for this profession:  streetwalker, lady of the night, someone that stands on the corner and waits for business, or a floozy.
Know what word i'm talking about now?
Yeah that one.

My third noise maker is a happy child, most of the time. He's usually in LALA land and comes to reality when he's hungry or wants something. Other wise he's playing with legos, reading a book, wanting to play video games, or climbing something. The kid is all over the place, but generally speaking he's an easy going happy child...who sometimes speaks in riddles. I don't know how else to describe it other than sometimes you're scratching your head going "wait what?" till the kid then explains what he's thinking. To which we usually all end up going "Ohhhhh. I get it, yeah makes sense."

So this one time I needed to go to the UPS store and for some reason it was just he and I on this errand. When we got to the UPS store...said child chuckled and said "The "ups" store. Do the send everything "up"?"
I smiled at him. Like to say "haha, you are funny."
"Okay all we have to do is get this package in there and drop it off and then we can leave."
"Okay...hey do you think we need to look "up" when we get in there?" hehehe he cracks himself up. (I never claimed that he was funny.)
I roll my eyes and we go inside,

When we enter the store, I get in line behind the only other person in there. I check my package to make sure everything is okay, everything looks good. So efficient I am! (I apparently speak yoda whenever I feel cocky)

We move to the front of the line and nice UPS gentleman says "Well, well! Another package I see! Going to so and so place, weighing in at so and so lbs..."

I look down at the child and notice he's off in that special place all the while staring "up"...cause we're in the "ups" store of course.

"Yep, just one today!"

"Oops looks like you missed one signature right here."
He pushes it towards me, someone walks in to stand in line behind us.

I reach over get a pen, and start signing my signature...

Then all of a sudden my son comes out of wherever he is tugs on my shirt and says "I have three dads."
whaaaaaaa the???
I stop dead in my tracks in the middle of signing my name...and it's dead silent.
The man behind me has stopped moving all together, perhaps he's stopped breathing...the nice UPS gentleman stopped in mid taping of a package...and all I can hear is my heart beating in my ears...
And then he said it again "Mom, I have three dads."

I slowly look up at the nice UPS gentleman and he's staring looking over his glasses at me with one eyebrow clear up his forehead and his mouth half dropped open.

His hands still hovering over the package with the tape in his hands. As if saying "Oh, well then...I see..."

I smile with a haha kids look...and then look down with the same painted on smile and through clenched teeth say to my child who I'd like to pummel "You only have one dad, silly. hahahaha...ahem."
Man it's hot in here...
The third noisemaker answers matter of fact "Nope I have three dads."
The nice UPS gentleman clears his throat...
And i'm like

this can not be happening...Is.this.happening? It must have happened because it feels like everything is going in slow motion, and the walls are caving in...and did someone TURN ON THE FREAKING HEAT IN HERE???

I finish my signature, and push the package back to the nice UPS gentleman and I say "That about takes care of it right?"
He answers back "That'll get er done."
OH MY GOSH DID HE JUST SAY "THAT WILL GET HER DONE"? OR "THAT WILL GET IT DONE"???
ALL we had to do was get in, drop off, and get out. GET IN, DROP OFF, GET OUT....GET OUT oh my gosh I have to get out!
I say thank you with my head down grab the child's hand that is going to lose his life soon, and walk past the man that has given me ample amount of space and is hiding behind his package to ward off any evil viruses or whatever that I might give him from being too close to him...
We walk out and get to the car.

A sigh of relief...Holy mother of all that is good.

I open the car door still shaking my head trying to figure out what in the world just happened...the third noisemaker starts to get in and I have to ask...
"Seriously? THREE DADS? I don't get it."
He looks at me innocently and smiles and as he's buckling in says "Yeah, I have ONE DAD, and TWO granDADS...that makes three DADS. Can we go get pizza now?"

And just like that it made sense and I said "Ohhh I get it. huh." And no one was around to hear the explanation to the riddle but me... and then I got in the car and that was coincidentally the same day I looked to see where the next closest UPS store was, cause I wasn't going to go back to that one like ever.

ps: thanks for the word of encouragement. life is good. ;)

Then and Now Christmas

This is my all time favorite picture of my kids. 

It kills me because I don't have a high resolution jpg of it so I can't make it a large print. 

This picture actually brings tears to my eyes just thinking about that time. 

It was taken in 2009 Jake was deployed. We were going through some serious emotional "hell" with our oldest one. But for a moment in these pictures I took we looked normal, with no problems.

 Between Jake being over seas, me being a single parent, and watching my child go from a happy child to...just...not being who he used to be, and watch him struggle socially, physically, and emotionally... well it pretty much about destroyed me. It was the darkest time in my life to date. But, now, looking back at that time, 5 years now, I can honestly say, it didn't break me. I feel like I learned a lot about myself. And it made my oldest child, one resilient, and pretty amazing young man. 

So, this picture brings up a lot of emotions and naturally I wanted to recreate that pose so I could have a better high resolution picture of my favorite picture ever of my children. 

And well...

at first they totally were like: 

All kind of smart mouthing each other to do what I told them because we were all cold and wanted to go inside.

The husband came out and was like "Guys seriously the quicker you comply the quicker this is over. DO.WHAT.YOUR.MOTHER.WANTS.YOU.TO.DO."

okay that's better... but seriously they were totally on the "Stiff" side. Loosen up please!

The husband then says "come on guys, just act natural!"
And I don't have a clue what hand gesture or body movement my husband did when he said that...but what they all did at the same time was this:

Apparently that's acting natural? okay I guess i'll take it. 

In no way shape or form can I get my family to even in a picture pretend that we are a normal happy family. I guess I'll just be very happy that we are a slightly un-normal happy family. Which we are. And even though we are a family that has gone through a few ups and downs...we are very aware of our blessings. Even in the lowest points in our journey, we look at our experiences as blessings given to us to learn from.

The minute I sighed and said "Okay, I think, I got at least one. Guys, I think we're d......

...done. Guys???" 

I turned to the husband and he looks at me and asks "Did you really get one? Or do I need to get them all back out here."

"Yeah, I got it. It's not like the other picture, but it's okay." And then I was grateful for having him here with me. To deal with the boogers we call our children. Who bring us so much happiness, sadness, disappointment and pride. They are hard little things to take care of all the time.  But man I wouldn't change places with anyone. I love my Blessing of Life.

I'm grateful for snapshots of our past. I'm also grateful for our experiences that we leave in the past. They mold us to who we become today. So instead of trying to recreate a picture or an experience, I'm just going to keep moving forward, and be grateful for the wonderful little people they have and continue to become.

They're my special little people. And I love them. And we want to wish you all,  friends and family, a Very Merry Christmas from our very un normal and so far from perfect but trying hard to be a good family.
the Christensons. 

Teacher gifts this year

 This year I got my game on with teacher gifts. Each year in the past I've sucked and not done home made anything...because I've been so overwhelmed with all the other projects I have to get done. So instead of failing, I just haven't attempted in years past.

NOT.THIS.YEAR.
This year I actually started in November the process of making the teacher gifts. The idea was that I could just get it done and out of the way.
Well of course things go south over here whenever I make a plan, so I found myself finishing the teacher gifts I started in November oh like just yesterday. You know, the day before the last day of school before the winter break.
So see? Even though I've been overwhelmed with everything else all I had to do was finish what I started over a month ago...
And that my friends...is me being on top of my game.
I'll take it.

 I used American Janes awesome Pot Luck ruler fabric. And used my Color Block zipper pouch

And even the inside of the pouch is cute with matching brown ruler fabric.

I included inside of each the zipper pouches, hand sanitizer and festive lotion (cause the dry hands you get from trying not to get sick from all the germ infested noisemakers they have to deal with daily) and some candy. (not shown and I promise it wasn't because I ate it)

(ps the other one was an experiment one that I let the kids help sew, didn't turn out as pretty but it was still made into a gift. I figured it has the "my little student helped make it" charm) 

Perhaps, if I start now for next years teacher gifts...I might actually get those done, and HEY, maybe I could even try to make family members something handmade as well. 

But that's just crazy talk. 

Also this last week, I tried to get my kids to take A FREAKING PICTURE for oh, I don't know Christmas cards/kids group shot because we've not had one in at least two years/give to grandparents or whatever...and this is just a snippet of what they dished out to me.
They are boogers.
That is all.
We'll talk soon.

V and Co: getting my embroidery on and 15 years

yesterday i continued to work on things for market. 

i am doing a school house with Aurifil threads and i will be showing off a few things i've made (including this little bag) with my line of threads with them.

 one person asked if i did the embroidery by hand. uh no. but thank you for thinking i did that by hand.
 nope the embroidery was stitch #431 on my Bernina 580 
these threads were created for my simply color line. but go great with my simply style line as the colors are close enough that they transfer pretty well!

 the bag pattern is my color block pouch. (the large bag of the three)
it's one of my favorite to make as a gift for sew-y friends because it's fast and easy and totally a necessity.

yep. i'll be making a few more. :)
and i'll be making a few other things with my embroidery machine and thread here soon too. watch for it on the We All Sew Blog for BERNINA. :)

also this last week my youngest one was caught on camera eating a microphone.

this was taken before the kindergarten moosical.  she obviously is lacking in the personality department.


we also (the husband and i) celebrated 15 years and one month this last sunday.
yep, last month we celebrated 15 whole years of marriage.

i married a pretty cute boy 15 years ago.
and today i celebrate 15 years of being with my best friend, the love of my life, the guy that can make me laugh so hard i pee, the guy i can look across the room and with one look i know what he said with that one look. i'm married to one of the hardest working men i know and a great example to my boys. i celebrate 15 years with the guy i have 4 kids with, countless of memories, a few trials we have been able to go through and look back at and learned from. i am celebrating 15 years with the man that mirrors my desires to have a good family life, mirrors my desires to create a safe home for our children, the man that mirrors my sense of humor, and the man that continuously tries to keep smiling.
i am one lucky gal i said yes. one of these days i'll have to write down our story. it's pretty hilarious. :)

this week i'll also write up about my time at the MQG in Des Moines. they asked me to talk about traditional blocks in modern quilting . it was fun and i got to meet some lovely ladies and got to talk fun stuff with them. :)

here's a blog post by one of the members! it was so nice to meet you veronica!!
we'll talk soon!

V and Co: happy valentines day

Source: stylemepretty.com via Vanessa on Pinterest

happy valentines day.
here is a pretty picture


and then here's what my real life looks like:

the daughter brought this home and she explained it says:
"i love bows."
"i love hearts."
and last but not least:
"i love flowers."

sorry sweetie:
 that says "i love fart."
but we'll let you think you wrote flowers. for now.

i'm keeping it in her keepsake box to bring out when she's a teenager and brings home boys.
happy valentines day!

edited: the husband bought me roses and had the florist write "...wanted to make sure i got you some farts."
i think this is going to stick.

tomorrow i will have  the how to appliqué your dresden plate and what to put in the middles.
we'll talk soon!!! :)

V and Co: theirs and mine: bernina sewing machines

 the other day the girl noisemaker out of the blue says to me "i want to do what you do." i looked at her and a whole avalanche of things that i do in the day flooded my brain at that moment. what exactly was she talking about.
i think she must of looked at my confused face and then said "you know with fabric? i want to do that with fabric too."
okay little one.
sure.
"one of these days we'll do it k?" hello she's 6.
she persisted "no, now."
me "ok, well i can't RIGHT now, we have to make dinner, but soon?"
"tomorrow?"
"maybe."
that did not go down okay but it did buy me a few days, till the third boy noisemaker (who is 8) came up to me and says in front of the other three "hey, i want to sew."
what the crap is going on here. two of them in the span of days asking to learn to sew.
i gave him a skeptical look to which he said "please? i'm not kidding i want to sew something."
that's when the two larger noisemakers (both boys as well) chime in:
"yeah mom, i was supposed to make my own quilt last summer. what happened to that?" the second noisemaker says.
the third noisemaker is just chuckling as he looks up from his book.
"busted."
so the kids have been sewing on betty.
she is now theirs.
yes, i want them to learn on a bernina, cause personally, when i upgraded to a bernina from my first sewing machine, i felt like i became a better sewer over night. and the last thing i want for the kids to feel is frustration like i did when i started to sew and walked away from it for so many years.

you may think i'm kind to "gift" my betty bernina to the kids...well don't feel too bad for me:

i'd like for you to meet  Bernadette

yeah she's hot. not cute. so bernadette is her name.

she's geeky and hot all at once kind of like bernadette from big bang theory. she can get the work done and she has bite. but she's in a tiny package. (um compared to the BEAST she's small.)

okay, fine. so we started the process.

i thought it was going to be a gray hair experience with me wanting to run screaming to the hills...wait i live in iowa now...running screaming to the cornfields. 

but actually it was all but that. the 8 year old is doing pretty good.

the 11 year old is doing excellent...can do it without my guidance.

and the 6 year old is planning skirts to make for her dolls. :/ uh...not my forte kid but we'll try. 

the almost 13 year old has picked out fabric for his quilt...all before he even touches the machine...well i guess that's one way of learning.

anyways, while they have been tinkering with betty...

bernadette and i have been getting ourselves acquainted with piecing and quilting a new pattern (coming soon) and piecing 2 more patterns as we speak also coming soon.
but not if i keep stalling so back to sewing i go.
:) we'll talk soon.
ps i think the kid's view is nicer than mine...i may have to dress up that wall i stare at all day with some fun colors and fabric. :)

V and Co: just one of those weeks

no need to cry over spilled milk

 i've had one of those weeks.
i think it started with having a 4 day weekend this last week. it got me off my groove.  i was always a day behind. i was thinking it was wednesday and really it was thursday.
what??? where did that day go, oh yeah, that's right my monday started on tuesday.
but i'm a mom, i'm supposed to roll with the punches, i eat chaos for breakfast!
normally yes.
this week?
not so much.

i wonder why some weeks are like that.
seriously, anyone have the answer? aside from cloudy days, hormonal imbalances, and blah de be blah blah...why is it that some weeks we have SO much on our plate, and yet we can still take motherhood, career, household schedules, school, extra curricular activities, eye doctor appointments, "honey i forgot ...so can you bring me"'s, and all the other little things that happen daily by the horns and say "YES! I JUST HANDLED THAT!" you walk away feeling like you could chew through leather if you were asked to.

yes, that's me making fun of myself two days ago

and then there are weeks where getting up, making lunches, making beds, and getting to one appointment, is almost too much to handle because of all the other responsibilities that are still there waiting for you to pay attention to the minute you get a chance.

i started writing daily lists:
i have one for work related deadlines
and i have one for daily household and family necessities.

funny how a stupid little box where i can place an "X" inside of it can make me or break me somedays.
this week those "X"s haven't been happening.
i feel like life is so SO fast.
always rushing to finish something. just to get to the next thing.

last night after a day of feeling like i've failed to use my time wisely every single moment of the day...
i was getting super frustrated with my youngest noisemaker. she's stubborn. cute as all get out, stubborn as you know what. she refused to do something for school. or rather was saying she didn't know how to do it. i just wanted to get the homework done so i could move on to cleaning up the dishes...and check up on spelling for the third noisemaker, tell the 2nd noisemaker to make more noise with the cello for practice, and check up on the oldest one to make sure he's still on task to finish coloring in his geography map...

my eldest son can write a book on being stubborn, and as he passed by (apparently he wasn't on task) and he was listening to my struggle with katie, he stopped and said "maybe i can help, mom."
i walked away with hands up in the air, and headed to the sink to clean the dishes. but i heard him talk to her.
he talked to her about how hard it is to let go sometimes and do what you are supposed to do, when you resist school things, kids make fun of you, and teachers don't know you are learning stuff. and a lot of people get upset. he ended with "i know katie, because i do that a lot. but i'm trying not to do that now."
i wanted to cry.
he then proceeded to work with her on the numbers sheet.
and i wanted to cry again.
they worked on it for 20 minutes.

my 12 year old, the one that i have cried in frustration and in anxiousness for his well being, was showing characteristics of a loving, selfless, individual wanting to help his youngest sibling out.
i have to admit, i've not written much on "hard" motherhood lately. but i'm going to break my rule of not talking about too emotional stuff on here.

my eldest son, is amazing.

oh he's still a goofy pre-teen, still makes me raise my voice and ask "seriously?". basically he's still a normal kid. but amazing none the less.

i have struggled with him so much leading up to this point. we've clashed we've fought, i've been placed on my knees in prayer more for that kid than anything else in my life.
i'm not going to rehash how hard it was during my husband's deployment, or the struggles of moving so much in a short period of time and how it affected my then small child. all you need to know is it affect our whole family, but my 12 year old took the brunt of it emotionally. he held a lot on his shoulders.
i think of all the struggles my 12 year old (almost 13!) has gone through up to this point and know it has matured my son into a much better person than i could have ever asked for, he surpasses me on empathy, and he surpasses me in knowledge of dealing with personal hurt, and struggles with school.
it's true you do not experience true love, willing to sacrifice everything kind of love, till you have a child who is going through some kind of horribleness, whether it is emotional, physical, or a mere pain of learning of life's lessons. there were many times i would cry just wanting to take away all the weight he had to deal with. i would plead, beg, make deals, anything to take away some of those struggles when we were in them.

this year...he's been surprising me throwing me curve balls with how he can be such an amazing individual, taking responsibility, running after and inviting to stay a kid at church who always likes to slip away before anyone says anything to him, giving me a smile of appreciation and pausing to tell me thank you for the socks in his drawers and the lunch in my hand to give him as he walks out the door to catch the bus, hearing his teachers at school saying: "he is such a great kid, so kind and really wanting to do well."

and last night, watching him, my life made sense for that little bit in an otherwise wasted day in my eyes. he's going to be a great older human being. and i'm so happy to call him mine. i can't take responsibility with how he turns out completely. he ultimately makes his own life. but let me tell you. so far what i'm seeing. brings tears to my eyes and makes me so so tired to think of the years leading up to that moment. but yeah.


not much got "X"d off my list this week. but last night i did go to bed with a full heart, and appreciation for trials in our life to experience these happy moments.

have a wonderful weekend. i'll be over here putting out fires and building some other ones.

homemade play doh = coolest mom ever

last friday was a half day for the boys, so katie and i had to get some fast "creating" stuff done. no sewing projects were on the agenda (my sewing machine was at the doctors getting all nice and fixed after being abused everyday for like 2 years...so i was without her.)
no, katie and i actually hit the kitchen.
we made play doh.

which btw if you haven't ever made your own play doh, i highly recommend it, because you become the coolest mom EVER in your kids' eyes and not only that but the kiddos will be thoroughly entertained for like hours.
heck the boys got home and were all over it as well.
i do dare say some pigs were a flying...because the words "video games" were not uttered once. crazy i know.
my floor though was really crumbly with play doh bits and colors were mixed so some almost 4 year old girl drama was had, but it's nothing the boys haven't seen before.

so here's the recipe used to make home made play doh:
so you too can be the coolest mom/wife ever too
1cup flour
1/4 cup salt
2 Tbsp. cream of tartar

combine and add to above:

1 cup water
2 tsp food coloring
1 Tbsp. veg oil

cook over medium heat stirring constantly (like 5 minutes)
slowly it will form a ball in the center.
remove from pan and on a lightly floured surface knead for a couple of seconds.
place in a plastic bag (with air our of it)
or an air tight container.

watch your kids play with the stuff for hours, get to read a book while they make a mess.
enjoy your afternoon.

on the agenda today. a little bit of sewing.
well after katie and i hit hellmart for groceries.
then the little miss and i will try to get back on the horse with a nicely tuned up sewing machine.
we'll talk soon.

the most wonderful time of the year...

ah yes the most wonderful time of the year.
or so you would think...

yes, this week started out with being one of our last hurrah's of going to the pool.
as the children played and swam and jumped off the high dive, the mothers on the sidelines were a chatter of how we were all ready and done with school shopping and we just couldn't wait to get back onto the natural schedule that school gave our lives. some of us were even a little giddy as to get our "other life" back of eating and talking with friends as we let the younger still left at home children play for a few hours only to go and have the rest of the day to either do errands with only two to four extra little hands grabbing things or to do some extra cleaning or some extra catching up on some AWESOME books that just came out (seriously how awesome IS that series?!!) or catch up on projects that have been put on the back burner for some time. whatever the case the excitement was there. i admit i was one of the ring leaders.

tuesday came and went a little too fast. trying to tie lose ends and such things.

wednesday was spent at the pool with the knowledge that this in fact would be it till the weekends if we got around to coming at all...

wednesday night the boys got haircuts, clothes were laid out, and alarm clocks were dusted off and set.

a nervous excitement was all around the house. and it was hard to get everyone to quiet down enough to fall asleep for a while. ahem even me..."imagine all three boys in school...i'll get so much done! and then katie later on in a couple of months two times a week." *big grin*

then the morning of...
i get breakfast ready after my early morning walk, scriptures are read and prayers are had. groomed boys are all ready a few minutes too early and are chomping at the bit to get going.
"MOM! we're going to be late!!!"
"no you are not, quit it and smile for me!"
this is the best picture by far that i got from them as threats were made on my end that we could do it there or we could do it in front of their class WITH their teachers as their friends watched.

that's right I WON.

"is that it? did you get it?" boys asked
no faster as i said "ye...s"
katie and i were left in the dust.
that's right even my 1st grader was gone.
i stood there a little lost. then one little cute girl pulled on my hand and asked me where the 1st grade was. i started to show her the way and then another one asked do you know where 1st grade was.

i ended up with a couple of cute little people following me to first grade.

and well that's when it started to happened.
as i turned the corner i saw my first grader sitting quietly in the front row.
*BIG GRIN* twitter of the stomach...
oh geez i'm okay.
we waved he waved back...

as we waited around and started working on the bulletin boards to get them up to speed in the hallways, the bells ring and all is quiet. we moms got busy working in the hall all happy and getting ready for the pep rally we were going to support and help out with.

as the time neared, and we started cheering and greeting the kids in the gym...the second twang of emotion hit.

what in the...? i'm EXCITED remember?!!!

as my kids' classes come in and the cheering continues i've gone from a completely excited mom to get her kids in school to itchy eyes, twitching nose, trying to hold in the flow that is about to happen to a cotton-headed ninny-muggins with tears streaming down her face.

my friend looks at me and asks "vanessa are you okay?"
i bob my head up and down and then side to side.
"NOPE. not one bit. i'm such a dork."
*big huge pathetic grin*

yup and there you have it.
cool confident can't wait to get those boogers i call my children out the door on to the next school year on monday to a bawling mess of a loser by thursday morning at 9 am.

after the mini meltdown of 4.5 seconds...katie and i went to the grocery store and we got drinks and chocolate.

only way to handle the first day of school if you ask me.
now...onto figuring out life again with a little too much extra time on my hands.

overheard at the dinner table

same kid that said this...
gave the prayer last night over my home cooked dinner his prayer went like this:

10 year old: "thank you heavenly father for this food, please bless it that it will not cause us harm or accident, and help it give us the nutrition we need. in the name of Jesus Christ...AMEN"

giggles were had all around the table.
and some tears...mine... but only because i was trying real hard not to laugh so hard during the prayer.

;)

babies a plenty

see growing up in the great city of los angeles and then moving to the "smaller" city of san diego...i didn't have the opportunity to see many brand new baby farm animals while in my childhood years. that is so not the case for my children as we find ourselves here in the middle of nowhere. baby farm animals are a-plenty. so much that going to the farm to see the new baby lambs has sort of become a "awwww, do we have to mom?" from the two older noisemakers. to which i answer rather kindly cause that's how i roll "yes, and so help me if you ruin this for me the two younger kids, i'll do something mean to you."
to which eye rolls are made a-plenty, sweatshirts are put on, and we happily drive away in the mini van to meet up with friends.

to see the cute baby lambs...and making memories and traditions completely different from my childhood...but still with the same intentions.


v and co loves her sponsors and welcomes newbie a beach cottage. CHECK OUT HER GIVEAWAY!

i had to pay my kid $20

so, my kid played basketball this year.
he didn't do too bad.
at the end of the "season" we got their team and individual pictures back.

when i first saw the picture i exploded in a "HAHA!...ahem. that's a good picture bud. why did you uh...hmmm."
second noise maker answers:"they told me not to blink."
me: "well good job at not blinking dude. lets show dad."
husband: "HA! OH MY...ahem. nice picture dude."
me: in an all seriousness tone "they told him not to blink."
husband: having to turn around so we wouldn't see him turning purple. "yup...mmmm hmmm, i see that."


a day or two later, i asked the second noise maker if i could put up his picture on the blog. our conversation went a little like this:

me: "okay, so i want to write about your basket ball picture. i'm going to next week. is that okay?"
second noise maker: "yeah, but you need to pay me $15 to do it."
me: staring at him blankly for a second... finally coming to and saying:"i'm sorry,what did you just say? who told you to say that?"

a closer look at the deer in headlights.

from two rooms over the husband yells: "I SAID $50 not $15!!!"
the second noise maker and i look at eachother. both of our wheels turning.
me: "how bout $20."
second noise maker: "deal."
the kid got $20 that night.
the husband did not get anything that night.

v and co loves her sponsors! check out what i just bought from burgundy buttons!

i should win best mom award for this

so last week at aprox 8:22 pm the night before the 2nd grade play (which my son was to be honey bee #2) i'm not kidding the kid comes up to me and says

second noise maker: "uh mom, i need a honey bee costume...for tomorrow's play."
okay keep in mind we live in a town of 500 people with NOTHING around us. i'm not joking when i say "middle of nowhere". the only thing that might remotely have something that could help me in this predicament would be our "grocery store" that closes every night at 7. yup aprox 1 hour and 22 minutes ago.
me: panic setting in "W-what? what do you mean you need a honey bee costume?"
second noise maker who's about to lose his life:" i'm a honey bee...and i need a costume. for the play. tomorrow."
me: laughing uncontrollably "no, you're kidding. did your dad make you say this?" not laughing anymore.
all eyes are now looking at the man i married who is silently laughing and trying really hard not to say anything. but can't hold back anymore says:
"come on honey you're crafty i'm sure you can whip something up.
by.tomorrow.morning. BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
me: glaring "i don't need your help."
me back to the child who i gave birth to who is about to have it taken away by me as well: "uh, why didn't you tell me before now?"
the child:"i don't know? i didn't really know till now."
me: "likely story. go to bed. i'll be over here trying to figure something out."

and so i did. two wire hangers, hot glue, and some tights (which i kind of liked but had to sacrifice) created the wings.

and yeah okay so they look like i made them while smoking crack and drinking...but i wasn't i swear.
a t-shirt turned inside out and some black masking tape was made into his "body".
and you know what's even better? a lot of the teachers at the school read my blog. so they know i sew and am capable of "crafty" things. so this post is for you teachers who were looking at my kid that day and thinking "what in the...i thought she was crafty."

during the whole play all i could think was as i looked at the other honey bees "yup. that kid's parent had more notice than me...so did that one. aaaaaand that one too."


when i saw him afterwards (which he did a smashing good job at being honey bee #2 in-spite of my costume) i also saw his teacher and told her sorry about the costume we only had so and so many resources and blah de blah. you know what she said?
"well, we had extras we told him he could use but he wanted to wear yours."

*tears*
okay you can live a little longer honeybee.


v and co loves her sponsors and welcomes newbie kid giddy!