that night we had what sounded like a stampede of cows mooing so loud we went out there with a flash light to see what was going on (and to make sure they hadn't plowed through our fence) what we found were 50+ cows all staring into our pasture and taunting our small pathetic cows into a corner peeing their pants.two small pasture cows vs 50+ large pasture in a herd cows...not the best match up.
things died down after a while...but it was eery.
you would think the story ends here...i did too..
but
oh
no
it
didn't.
a few mornings later...after school had started and i was on the phone with a friend. i GASPED when i opened my shades. she asked what was wrong...
i said in a hushed voice "there's a cow in my front yard, it looks mad...and it's looking at me!" i turn to the cow and say "are you looking at me? seriously stop looking at me...no really i'm just the wife of the guy who didn't give you the hay. he's at work just a few blocks away if you'd like i can give you the address...no? okay well i'll just go inside now. "
i close the door and peek out my window.
"oh my gosh he's going to break in to our back yard!" i yell into the phone.
the friend then told me to yell something that cowboys yell to get them moving in the direction they need them to go."HEEEEYAHHHHH!!!! GIT ON OUT OF ERE!!!!!please?"
i think she was laughing so hard she didn't hear me...except for when i started yelling at it
"oh yeah! that's right! who's in charge here! run away scared (scary) cow! see if you come back and bug us again! HA!"
i showed that cow. you don't mess with the wife of the guy who bought the hay.
but i still cant shake the eery feeling of eyes staring at me hooves getting closer and following me when my back is turned...
i think i'm being stalked.
71 comments:
OMG! I nearly wet my pants! At first I thought that was one of your cows, then I realized he looked mean! Thank goodness Katie wasn't out playing in the front yard at the time! You handled it like a pro. Good Job! Jenn
I am about to die laughing. Seriously, this so hilarious. Thank you!
What a funny story! Thanks for sharing!
I am laughing so hard I am about to pee my pants. I have had moments where cows, yes with an s, were staring at me and moving towards me and it is not a great feeling, I had to squeeeeeeeeze, my then skinny arse (I was in high school) through a barn door that didn't want to open and RUN!!!!
LOL! How funny (and yes, very unnerving)! I'm glad you had the presence of mind to grab your camera.
so funny! Thanks for the laugh today.
Soooo funny!
A little scary... perfect for Halloween.
Moooooooooo
How funny! Thank you for sharing that story. I couldnt stop laughing. ♥
Could you possibly be any cuter?! ♥ This story just totally made my day! Thank you!
I will continue to laugh at this all night long! So FUNNY!
LMAO! This totally just cracked me up! I seriously don't know what I'd do if I looked out my front window and saw a cow in my yard! LOL!
Hysterical! :) I did my acorn wreath btw. I will have to send you and e-mail about that soon. It looks NOTHING like yours but I now know what I did wrong and plan to fix it next year. :)
The captions are so fun!
Too funny! I cant believe I missed the cow stalker. Where was I? Probably sleeping. I always need a nap after having to walk the pre-schooler to school at 7:45 in the freak'n morning. There’s got to be a better way... I dont do mornings.
OMGosh Vanessa!
I think I want to move next door to you. Your life is NEVER boring :)
Hilarious!
Lani
This is HILARIOUS!!!!!! :D
So funny!!! This brings a whole new meaning to "Mad Cow"!!!
Lou Cinda :)
Oh the stories we can all tell from living with cows. We have had that happen a few times. Fun isn't it?
What a great story! you made my day! Love the pictures with the tekst and baloons, fantastic post!!!
Very funny story! Thanks for sharing.
I usually don't leave comments, just keep it to myself but this was absolutely hilarious. I was laughing and laughing and my 3 year old asked me what was wrong.
Years ago my parents had a cow in their backyard...at night... they heard all kinds of strange noises. The neighbors cow had escaped. The joys of living in the country!
Thanks for brightening my day and my daughters (I read her your story once I stopped laughing)
Tanya
The best laugh to break the gloom of a cloudy day ... thanks.
that is so brilliantly funny! You told that cow!! ;O)
Holy crap, I can't stop laughing.
Hilarious! Thanks for the mid-afternoon giggle!
LOL!
Funniest thing I heard
(herd-hahaha) all day!!!! Now, I want a cow!
~Nancy
Oh this makes me homesick... we never had any adjoining pastures and always had big herds... but had plenty of cows out and in the dry years when we'd drive out with pellets so those cows would just come running!
I don't know what is funnier...that this happened to you or that you had a camera to document this happening to you!
You guys must have bad luck with animals. I saw the Marshall Park turkeys hanging out by the library today...I ran for my car.
Oh goodness Vanessa! That is so funny. Cows can be so loud - especially when they are wanting something out of reach.
Your poor little cows must have been shaking in their shoes!
Sincerely ~ Tricia Anne
Ps. Love the pdf! Thanks a million!
That-is-HILARIOUS!!! HAHAHAHA! Thanks for sharing!!
Have you ever considered that this was a female cow, who really had absolutely no interest in food (like all those boy cows), but really wanted to be a girlfriend and learn how to quilt? She might have been thinking the polite thing was to come to the front door to introduce herself.
The word has gotten out that you do all kinds of fun things inside that house of yours.
V,
this story was too funny. Laughing with you friend. I have grown up in the suburbs and I have never seen anything like all those cows lining up at that fence. That mooing must of been something else.
Always good for a healthy giggle fit!
Stalker cows are the worst.
You are funny. I would have been scared of a cow on my front lawn too.
you are the cow whisperer.. for real.
If the doorbell rings...don't answer the door, as a matter of fact double lock up tonight
OK, this was hilarious! Thank you for a great laugh tonight - I needed it! And way to show that cow who is boss!
Holy crap that was the funniest thing I heard today! Thanks for sharing!
Funny! How did I miss the cow?? Though I must say those cows have nothing on your scary black goat. Too bad you didn't have the camera the day your goats attacked! Though you'd have had to bleep out the things I said to those goats....
Ah, V... I love it! So funny! I've had similar cow eeriness in this pasture that I do photo shoots in... sometimes it scares the little ones to death when they start walking towards us with that look...
So the bottom line - if you have goodies, make sure you share some of them else hide them from any stray eyes.
That is eerie thoush.
Hysterical!!
Hehehehe. It still regularly cracks me up that you have cows. That you live in a place that has lots of cows. Instead of the city. I hope your stalkers don't get you. :)
ha ha, too funny! Just remember, cows are more scared of you than you are of them. Well, at least that is what my dad told me. Maybe that was just so that I would stop being a scaredy-cat and help herd them.
Too funny!
I am much more interested in your cows and what kind of pants they were wearing.
Sorry they were soiled, I am sure they are dificult to replace.
Hilarious! That reminds me of that dorky cartoon, Barnyard, where the busybody neighbor says to her hubby, "There's a cow in our yard!" He says,"It's a cow farm, there's going to be cows in our yard!" I guess you had to see it....anyway, thanks for sharing a funny with us!
HILARIOUS!
Hey, at least its a cow-stalker, not a crazy, creepy old man stalker, right?
By far, the funniest Blog entry I've read in a long time! That's hilarious! You know while reading, everyone was putting their own spin on what you were saying :) That makes it even funnier! You know what's gonna happen next, don't you....have you ever seen the "Chick-fil-a" advertisements? Yeah, you're their next target! LOL...I'm still laughing...probably the only one laughing at my entry...but I'm laughing :)
OMG! We may seem 4000 miles away - maui- but we must of had the same crazy cow stalkers 'chewing their cud' in the middle of the night under our window! Silly rodeo Paniolos let a bull and 8 hungry heifers loose on our luscious green grass too!! But the GIT ON OUTTA HERE!! sure does work!! thanks for sharing the jolly moment! aloha,m
oh...this post just made my morning...i needed a good laugh...
now you can add cattle herding to your many skills!!
Ba hahahahahahahahhahaaaaaaaa hA HA!!!
lol that story proper made me chuckle. funniest thing ive read all day :)
This is a total riot! I totally heart cows and think it's hysterical!
You are hilarious.
BAWHAHAHAHA...Seriously I loved this story!
You should print up all these crazy life experiences you have and make a book with Blurb or something!
I'm lost..what was the hay for anyway?
Oh my gosh! That is too funny! I think a stalker cow would be pretty scary!
Thanks for the laugh!!!
a cow in your yard? Crazy!
Girl, you are crazy!!! For real!
first off... I LOVE this!! its hilarious!!
2nd off.... the "tonights the night" picture- fabulous!
lol. I just couldn't help but to start singing "one of these things is not like the other..... One of these things just doesnt belong..." haha. Good thing that brown cow has never looked in a mirror, poor thing would be so confused!
Oh, my gosh...I am still laughing! What a funny story. What fun. That poor lone guy must have been very scared about how to get home!
Have a nice day!
This is soooooooo hilarious! I loved the commentary and as much as I love cows I would have avoided that last one!
Kelly
nightowlnotions.blogspot.com
You are too funny......that cow does look a little mad.....
Holy cow! Scary! YIKES...and just a little tiny bit funny... :-) Sorry, I shouldn't have laughed.
Blessings,
Spencer
that was HILARIOUS! Seriously couldn't stop laughing...
OMG! I can't stop saying OMG! The cow stalking was crazy... but your words and photos made it hilarious and priceless.
Super Post. Lots of giggles. I loved all of your pictures too! Thanks for the smiles!
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