our final goodbye

jake with his mom and dad

our ever so excited selves
nate

daddy and katie
daddy and kyle
looking on to the airplane
my favorite picture

i don't know why they've dragged this process out so long, i would of much rather had a quick pull of the the bandaid instead of a little tug every couple of days or weeks, but now our actual "year" deployment begins. it was emotional to say the least, but the blessings at 5 am this morning made everything seem okay. we're suppose to be doing this at this time, i'm suppose to be here in this super small town while he is gone (when we prayed we were astounded that we were to pass up chicago, teaching at a medical school and doing research at the hospital, jake's dream job) my children were promised blessings that brought tears to my eyes, i was promised strength beyond my comprehession, all i have to do is ask for help from above, the words "He's waiting just for you to ask, and the blessings are there for you to have" we were all assured that life will go on, Heavenly Father knows of our needs, and is wanting to give us so much if i just ask for help. (i think i see a pattern here) i was also blessed with acknowledgement that i struggle quietly (well i guess i did till i just wrote it out!) and that i need to stop that and just ask for help. OKAY I GET IT! but anyways, it was wonderful.

all in all it was super busy after he left, i sat with all four children for over 2 hours at the militarynational guard headquarters just waiting to get a current ID card. the couple of soldiers kept apologizing for all the computer glitches that were causing the delay, as we walked away, they jokingly said "are you going to be alright? i mean we could watch them for a little if you need a moment" i looked at them smiled and said "i don't think you would last a minute, they would eat you alive, but thank you!" we all laughed and as i walked away i had a moment of "yeah, i'm super-mom" then it faded as the kids finally let loose and started running and yelling, fighting about who was going to pick the movie in the car, katie had had it and was not having the stroller again! and so forth. it wasnt till the drive home after BYU (signitures for jake's dissertation) while the movie had long been over and the kids were all nodding off that i did the cry, that ugly one, the one you are praying no one sees. it was brief it was fierce, and now i'm tired. i am going to bed, to sleep off the headache, and to welcome tomorrow morning 364 days left till my sweetheart comes home to us for good. one day at a time. with lots of prayers. thank you for your kind words, and prayers, and thoughts, we appreciate them!