i'm still here. yup.
between being locked up in my bathroom thinking to myself as the two younger ones keep banging on my door as i do do-do..."they say that i'm going to miss this someday. i think they are full of poop."
cause i'm pretty sure that i will enjoy going to the bathroom without having to hear from the other side of the door "MOOOOOOMMMMM????!!!! where did mom go?! MOOOOOOOOMMMMM?! are you in there?! mom, MOM,MOM,MOM,MOM,MOM,MOM,MOM,MOM,MOM!!!!!"
me: sigh "what is it? i'm kind of busy here."
child: "oh she's in there. MOM...can you make cookie dough?"
me: "nope."
child has multiplied into two now: "WHAT WHY???!!!"
me: "well, one is i'm pooping. don't think i can do that right now while i'm on the toilet. and two, it's like 7:50 in the morning so pretty sure that would put me on the "bad mom" status."
silence....
child: "MOM! CAN I PLAY ON THE IPAD?!"
2nd child: "NO FAIR WHY CAN'T I PLAY ON THE IPAD?!"
me: "NO ONES PLAYING ON THE IPAD TILL WE DO THE CHORES AND READ FOR 20 MINUTES."
silence.
feet running away.
hmmm put that on my mental note pad on how to get some quiet while going to the bathroom.
and again being locked up in the car driving back from the pool with all four kids with me and again the two younger ones are bantering back and forth:
girl noise maker says: "well i'm going to be what mommy is when i grow up!"
and 3rd noise maker says: "a minion pooper?"
in his defense, i do call them "my minions" and apparently we need to at some point teach him that you don't necessarily poop out kids.
we only have about one more month of summer left. (WHAT?!) so we are in slow motion on the ol blog. but eh, i figured you are probably pooping in your bathroom with minions at your door too, so you don't care.
good news is that i did get a few minutes the other day and i sewed. so tomorrow i will have a "christmas in july" project to show. :)
we'll talk soon, and may you get a few minutes to yourself at some point today.
:)
47 comments:
you are too funny!!! and it sounds a lot like my house, except that we have a curtain on one of our bathroom doorways, no door, and the other door does not have a latch (damn rental house), but good news is we are waiting to hear about a house we put a bid on, and that has doors and latches in the bathrooms :D
and i usually got all 4 kids talking at the same time, and it happens while i am in the shower too, damn kids :D
Once, when I was in the bathroom, my (then) 5 year old daughter yelled "Mom, Daniel's (my then 2 year old) playing with the phone!" I sighed and said "OK bring it to me" and I hung it up. 5 minutes later, there was a knock at my front door-it was a police officer-he had managed to dial 911. Several abject apologies later...
Ah, the joys of motherhood.
You. Are. Hilarious. Looking forward to the 'toot'...
Bathrooms are magnets for kids to come and bother you. They can be playing nicely not even paying attention to where you are in the house or what you are doing, then BAM...you go into the bathroom. The phone works this way too!
Oh gosh that is too funny!
We have the old bang on the bathroom door whilst screaming "Who's in there man I gotta use the bathroom, my bellies boiling man Who's in there" repeatedly! Even if the toilet downstairs isn't occupied...it's always funny
My Father does the classic "Oh who's in the bathroom now...I bet its that...." Then said person will walk past him it cracks us all up! =D
Even if I do get interupted while in the bathroom it at least makes me feel better when they give me encouragement. "Good job Mommy!"
We have the same disease around here. The second I'm in there something absolutely important (to them) happens. I totally feel your pain.
Crianças são da mesma maneira em qualquer lugar do mundo...Agora é meu neto na porta enquanto o avô esta no banho,ainda bem que não faz isso comigo,temos horários diferentes.Beijos.
It drives my husband batty, but I've always had an open door policy when it comes to the bathroom, mostly because I don't trust my kids!
I love this! Every mom goes through this.....all we want is to poop alone! Just once! And cookies at 7:50 would totally put you in the cool mom category :)
this is sooooo my life! ha ha! glad I'm not alone :)
Nope. You got me beat.
No minnions at my door. ;o)
love your story i remember it well
hahahaha I can't stop laughing! I guess there aren't many moms that get bathroom alone time. ahahahaha My little 3 year old shoves his little books under the door for mommy! and for any guests that happen to use our bathroom! so funny.
My kids are all gone (7 of them, baby is 28). They always ask me why I read in the bathroom. I tell them that's because for sooo many years that was the only place I could go to be alone....lol
xo Linda 8-)
Love this!!! I myself had a similar experience today that included little fingers under the door. It's nice to know I am in great company :)
Such memories. They really do grow up quickly. I have two out of the house and the last one is 14 and all she is talking about is in a month she will be able to drive! I do correct her and tell her she will be able to start to learn how to drive.
I so remember those days and truthfully, I would go back there in a heartbeat. You will survive it, you have a great sense of humor :)
My kids won't even let me go poop in peace either. My three year old was crying outside the shower door for me to open her gogurt she snuck out of the fridge and throwing a huge fit. I feel your pain, thanks for sharing (at least I'm not the only one!)
Soo needed this laugh tonight. Thanks for the funny read.
You are right, there are some days you just don't miss. My son used to write a note and slip it under the bathroom door. Then a pencil would come under the door so I could write back.
I'm certain we will miss this one day. But for now I'm with the "bobster" up top there looking forward to the new "toot".
Seriously, are you at my house?
How funny! Back in another lifetime(actually about 25 years ago) I was the babysetter to my 2 girlfriends kids, so 6 kids under 6. When I went poop everyone came in with me, usually the boys had their elbows on my knees, telling me about everything. So glad when they grew up.
that just made my day!
No more kids at home, but I have not gone to the bathroom alone in about forty years......I have dogs who accompany me now. If I close the door, they send the cat to stick her paws under the door.
Last night DiNozzo the basset hound boy stuck his tongue under the door until I came out!
We really can't make this stuff up!!
glen
True story... Oh so true.
OMG! I am lmbo!! I can actually remember those days! It was a lifetime ago but I do remember thinking how I would cherish just one poop or pee with no kids standing on the other side of the bathroom door. So here I am all of these many years later. Now.....if I leave the door cracked open when I enter I have 4 kitties follow me in!! All of them wanting to inspect anything their nose will reach. Ugh! Cold and wet on my thighs! :/ And if I shut the door then my very vocal kitty, who thinks the world revolves around him, stands outside and howls until I open the odor! Some thing's just never change. roflol. Thanks for a good laugh!
Oh my gosh - did this ever make me laugh! I find it hard to leave the room when my nephew's around as he follows me. He's super strong for 18 mos and the lock on the bathroom door isn't. I had to call my sister to rescue me from the toddler wanting auntie-snuggles while auntie just wanted to poop in private. Ah, the little things... :-)
Thanks for the laugh today!
Ah, the "joys" of motherhood. ;)
Umm, pooping as I read about your pooping! Tee hee
Baahaha! I call my kids minnions too - and they answer when i summon them as "hey minnions, time to go!" Hilarious! And i too can't wait to have a minute alone when school starts up again.
Thank you for a good laugh! Aah, the realities of life as a stay-at-home mom. With this kind of material, you could be missing your calling as a stand up comic, you know?
Loved the story.
Mine are 6 and 9 and I still have them walk in the bathroom. I need to get into the habit of locking the door but that wont stop them.
I've never read "poop" so much in one blog post, haha. Only you!
oh how I remember those days...and then they come in the bathroom and bring their friends, too! But, this too shall pass, and you will be missing these days. NOT! Grown up kids are the best!
I used to be thankful that they were bugging me through the door - at least I knew where they were and were not smearing utter balm all over themselves - yes that happened - or walking naked in the front yard - yes that also happened - while I was using the bathroom! Keep smiling - they do grow up fast!
Yep-I can totally relate to this. My (childless) SIL came to visit one time and I commented that a good day was one in which I was able to go to the toilet uninterrupted once. At the end of the weekend she said, "You were serious! I thought you were joking and if it isn't the kids bugging you, it is your husband!" It is better now that they are older and my goal is now an interrupted shower. Baby steps!
Hehehe, so true!
Make a phone call, pick up a book and start reading, use the computer...they will always come looking for you.
LOL Every single Mom reading this post is going to shake their heads. YUP. Same thing in my house is what they will think. But, those like me who have older kids are thinking ....ohhh those were the days and I am SO glad they are over. But, there are still times while in the bathroom that I think ummm 'fondly' (not) about those days. LOL
You need to print this up and put it on your bathroom door. I found this years ago and one day when I had enough, it got printed and taped to the backside of my bathroom door.
ATTENTION CHILDREN: The Bathroom Door is Closed.
Please do not stand here and talk, whine, or ask questions. Wait until I get out.
Yes, it is locked. I want it that way. It is not broken, I am not trapped. I know I have left it unlocked, and even open at times, since you were born, because I was afraid some horrible tragedy might occur while I was in here, but it's been 10 years and I want some PRIVACY.
Do not ask me how long I will be. I will come out when I am done.
Do not bring the phone to the bathroom door.
Do not go running back to the phone yelling, "She's in the BATHROOM!"
Do not begin to fight as soon as I go in.
Do not stick your little fingers under the door and wiggle them. This was funny when you were two, but not now.
Do not slide pennies, Legos, or notes under the door. Even when you were two this got a little tiresome.
If you have followed me down the hall talking, and are still talking as you face this closed door, please turn around, walk away, and wait for me in another room. I will be glad to listen to you when I am done.
And yes, I still love you.
(signed) Mom
If nothing else, it keeps them busy the first time while they read it. LOL
I knew things were getting really out of control when my kid's friend started to talk to me when I was on the other side of the bathroom door. Granted it started out as my son, and I didn't know friend was there, but when the friend piped in, I thought "I am so not doing this" and stopped talking to either or them.
Absolutely hilarious. My minions are now 24 and 21 and they mostly leave me alone when I am in the bathroom. However when they are looking for me they do yell through the house until I have to yell back for all the world to hear that I am in the bathroom. That is usually when they are trailing a group of college friends through the house and want to introduce me. I miss the "little" days but also remember thinking "Will I ever be alone again?" They grow up in a wink so enjoy every second, it doesn't last forever. That said they are fun as adults too. Thanks for the memories and the laughs!
Girl you crack me up! I so remember those days when our kids were younger. They are in college now. but yes, the ole throne is where I would go for five minutes of quiet, but they would inevitably figure out where I was.
Love it when you keep things real. Off to read the next post.
I totally understand that there will be some aspects of little kids that I miss, I get that. But as my mom puts it, "no one misses the screaming."
I love this post. The same song is happening at my house. My husband took my two out for the morning and I did sew some but now I feel like the best use of the rest of the quiet time is a nap. Time alone at home is so, so rare it feels like a sin to "waste" it and yet, it might be just what I need. Thanks for your perspective. It made me smile.
the ANSWER to everything is NO! if they ask again PUNISHMENT (chores) are given out. if they do something THEY KNOW THEY SHOULD not while I am in they get CREATIVE PUNISHMENT. ( When my DD was 6 she went outside the house in just her underware and boots... she had to write a "report" pm the importance of proper dressing in the middle of a MI winter... drawings were part of the report. to this day she remembers writing that report and looks forward to giving out that punishment to her own child. ) MOTHERS NEED TO BE INVENTIVE AND MUCH MORE DIABOLICAL THEN KIDS OR THEY WILL DRIVE YOU TO AN EARLY GRAVE.
NONNIE
.
hahaha, so funny! so true! :-)
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